


Names

by biqua



Series: Complex [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13903665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biqua/pseuds/biqua
Summary: Traveling with Havoc Squad gives Jedi Knight Nahin plenty of time to ask questions. She's had a specific one in mind ever since she met the commander of Havoc, a man with a very familiar family name--Emras. Could he be related to the boy who showed her kindness on Alderaan all those years ago?





	Names

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place shortly before the Tatooine class quests. Nahin doesn't have a ship of her own, so she, Kira, and T7 have been traveling with Havoc Squad since they met up on Nar Shaddaa (after _Who Guards the Power Guards?_ ).

When Nahin arrived in the conference room, carrying her breakfast, it was almost empty. Not entirely empty--Lieutenant Emras was there, having his morning meal--but it was early enough in the morning that she wasn't surprised to find that most of the ship wasn't awake yet.

"Good morning, Master Nahin," Emras greeted as she entered.

"Good morning," she replied with a smile. Something about him made her feel comfortable--which made her feel uncomfortable. Every time she saw him, her heart seemed to skip a beat or two, and something told her that reaction was wrong. Yet.

She sat down across the conference table from him, trying to forget about those feelings. "You're up early," she said.

"As are you," he replied. "I imagine the Jedi also start their morning routines early."

Nahin nodded. "Yeah, I just finished meditation."

"Before breakfast? I think I would just fall back asleep," Emras said, laughing. "I have to be moving or there's no hope of staying awake."

"Jedi discipline isn't famous without cause," Nahin said. She took a bite of food, wondering if she could finally ask the question. They were alone, which either made it easier or more weird, and she wasn't sure which. Then again, if it was more weird, it would be better for it not to be around other people who could also see her be weird... Ah, why not? "Actually," she started, "there's something I've been meaning to ask you, Lieutenant Emras."

She could feel Emras's sudden surprise. "What?" he asked, curious. No apprehension, at least, not yet, which was good.

"It's your name, I mean, uh," Nahin stuttered. She started over. "I think I might have known someone who was related to you. If you don't mind me asking."

At that, Emras was confused. Very confused, in fact--skeptical, and... sad? Did she already say something wrong? Emras replied, "I doubt it, but, um, go ahead. What was their name?"

"Taroth," Nahin said, and felt as if she had suddenly been stabbed in the heart. "Taroth Emras."

She realized the pain wasn't hers, but Emras's. At the mention of Taroth's name, his emotions had gone haywire. Pain ricocheted through his mind. Nahin felt guilty for bringing it up--she didn't mean to cause him pain--but at the same time, this clearly meant that there was some connection between Taroth and this new soldier. 

"He's not--I'm not..." Emras started, and trailed off. He shook his head, and a faint smile crossed his face. "Taroth was on my team, back before--when we were first out of the Academy. I actually, uh, changed my name after..." he trailed off again, lost in thought.

"Were the two of you..." Nahin started, unsure of how to tactfully ask. "...together?"

Emras shook his head. "No," he answered. "We were friends, and when he died, I also..." Nahin could feel the lurking darkness in him rising, and she almost panicked. "Well, it was a difficult time, and I wanted to honor him."

"I..." Nahin started, awkwardly. "I kind of did the same thing."

Emras looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"I changed my name too, after Taroth," she admitted. "I was young, and when I first went to the Jedi, I was--insecure. Taroth worked at the temple, and he was the only one who was kind to me there."

"It sounds lonely," Emras said.

"It was a little lonely," Nahin admitted. "It was better when I was moved to Tython--this was on Alderaan," she clarified. "Taroth was just working at the Temple, cleaning mostly I think."

"That sounds like him. We didn't meet until we were both admitted to SpecForce training, so that was before I knew him."

"Have we met before?" Nahin asked, suddenly realizing what their mutual friendship meant.

"When?" Emras asked, confused. 

"At Taroth's funeral," Nahin explained, her voice dropping to nearly a whisper. "I was there."

Emras was silent for what felt like a long time. Nahin could feel a maelstrom of emotions, almost all negative--he was in so much pain, it hurt to be near him. But she couldn't look away, and, on the contrary, she felt compelled to reach across the table to touch him... She resisted, of course, because it would not be appropriate. She knew that, but it didn't make the feeling go away.

"...I wasn't," he finally said. "I was... recovering from surgery," he explained. Nahin could tell he was leaving out a lot of details, but she didn't press. She had already caused him too much pain this morning. "I couldn't make it. I hear it got exciting, though--Biqua almost decked their mom?"

"Biqua is his sister?" Nahin asked, unsure of the name. Emras nodded, and Nahin nodded in return. "Yeah, there was a lot of shouting. She had to be taken out to calm down after the service was over."

A faint smile crossed Emras's face. "Bee's not one for half-measures."

"I'm sorry," Nahin said.

"What for?" Emras asked, surprised by her sudden apology.

"I--I didn't mean to cause you any pain," she said, stumbling over her words again. Why was everything so much harder around him? "I'm sorry."

Emras actually laughed, understanding washing over him in a wave that splashed Nahin. "Please, you don't need to apologize for that. I hadn't even realized your name had any connection to Taroth, or I would have asked. I thought it was simply a coincidence."

"There are no such things as coincidences," Nahin quoted, "it's all the will of the Force. That's what my Masters say, at least."

"Maybe there's some truth to it," Emras said. "This seems like more than a coincidence, both of us knowing Taroth and then ending up on the same ship. I don't claim to know anything about the Force, but I'm glad you're the Jedi we ended up working with."

Nahin felt her cheeks flush, and quickly closed her mind out of habit. She wasn't even sure if it was her emotion or Emras's, but she had to remember the code-- _There is no emotion, there is peace._  She needed to do a better job of remembering that. But...

"I'm glad, too. I'm glad I met you, Lieutenant Emras."

He smiled, standing up. He grabbed his plate and cup, ready to take them back to the mess corner. "I hope we continue to work together in the future, Master Nahin."

She watched as he left, leaving her with her barely touched meal. Nahin felt as though something had happened to her--it was definitely her emotion. It hadn't faded, even with Emras leaving the room and Nahin closing her mind. It felt oddly like the skip in her heart when she saw him--a longing, that's what it was. Yearning.

Oh.

The realization hit her like a punch in the chest. She felt momentarily breathless, then panicked, as her adrenaline response kicked in, ready to bolt if anyone walked in the door. Because what if they looked at her, and they found her out? What if they could see it in her face?

Oh stars.

Because she was not, she could not be--she would be in so much trouble--this was everything she had been told not--she couldn't--she couldn't-- _she couldn't_ \--but she couldn't deny it. Not now that she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, what it was--this feeling that had been tormenting her without a name.

_Oh no._

She was in love with Lieutenant Badri Emras.


End file.
